I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
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at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
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What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.