Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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