why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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