All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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