Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I could fuck to npr.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
