She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I am spending my child support on dildos
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
