i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize