You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
