I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
