you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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