How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just found a bag of teeth...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
