Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
