Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
