So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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