A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
