just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
