i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
