Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize