Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
