Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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