If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
