I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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