You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
