I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
