During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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