Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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