R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
