I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Terrible idea I love it
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
