i think i have herpe
just one?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
