she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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