Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
