So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
