I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.