11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
