Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.