I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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