I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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