dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
