no, he came in my armpit
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
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You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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