We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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