So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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