I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
