dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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