my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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