so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
