how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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