I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
