What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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