bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
