Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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