I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm going to jail i love you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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