i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
there is puke in my bra ... again
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
