I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize