this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have feelings that need drinking.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize