You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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